i’m reminded regularly that blogging truly is a completely vulnerable, public diary. my thoughts—for better or for worse—flow forth in relatively unadulterated streams. sometimes it’s brilliant…and far more often, it’s pretty, well, not so brilliant.
recently i was thinking about the fact that whatever i write on the internet will be forever present. yes, forever. it will never. go. away.
my kids will read it.
and my grandkids will probably read it.
and, in the end, i’m ok with that. (i think?)
with these realizations i’ve begun to think quite a bit more about what i would like my children (and people to come) to glean about my life as played out in the blogosphere (maybe i would like them to not know i use the word blogosphere…).
i don’t wanna be too drippingly sentimental, but my recent thoughts happened to coincide with lucy’s—our oldest daughter—4th birthday (which is today, may 18). for the past several years, i’ve blogged on each of our childrens’ birthdays with a few quick (well, “quick” as relates to my long-windedness…) thoughts and i thought this year, i’d write with what i’d like lucy to know someday when she reads these birthday wishes in mind.
so what do i want you to know, lucy, about turning 4?
well, i’d like you to know you’re loved. and not just loved, but extraordinarily loved and adored.
in just 4 years, you’ve become a little lady. not just a little girl. but a conversationalist. a comedian. a friend. a teacher to olive and max (not to mention me & your mommy).
every day, you make our life better. undoubtedly, there are days when i think long and hard about thumping your little head…but those moments are dwarfed by the endless supply of happiness you bring. like those times you run and jump in my arms when i get home from work. or when you draw a crazy looking stick figure picture of me and you playing at the park. or when you make up your own words to black eyed peas songs as you dance. or when you correct me on which princess does what thing.
since that evening in paducah in 2007, you’ve made me laugh and you’ve made me cry. you’ve made me love your mommy more and you’ve made me a better human being. in you, i see god. you deepen my faith and allow me to see everything’s that good in the world when i might otherwise see what isn’t so good.
so, happy birthday, lucy lu. you’re 4 today. i’m not sure what you’re doing right now as you read this (or if you’ll ever read this), but i hope birthday #4 wasn’t the last one in which you laughed and played and danced and made me the most happy and proud daddy on planet earth.
i’ve got a feeling it wasn’t.