stranger danger!

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Thursday, October 23rd, 2008

stranger danger!

ATTENTION FAITHFUL BLOG READERS: if you come to my house in the middle of the night and bang on my door, i will not answer it. if i owned a weapon, i would be shooting first and asking questions second.

that’s because i just got done watching the strangers.
i wanted to see this movie in the theater (where it would have been incredible), but my frightened wife refused, so i’ve been eagerly awaiting its release on dvd. today that occurred.
the strangers isn’t as much of a horror movie as it is a suspense and “terror” movie. while there are some gory scenes, it’s not really about that. it’s about taking a very real life scenario—one that you might find yourself in—and scaring the crap out of you. and i have to say, i honestly can’t remember the last time a movie scared me, but this came close. of course, it wasn’t so much that it scared me, but it just places you in this hyper-paranoia and has you checking the locks on your doors and the latches on your windows. it’s really creepy.
quick overview: a boyfriend/girlfriend go late one night to his family’s summer home out in the woods. while they’re there, they are terrorized by these three creepy people—one man and two women—wearing masks. the man sports this super creepy cloth sack with eye and mouth cut-outs (as seen in the movie poster) and the two women have these creepy 70’s-looking halloween type masks on. SPOILER ALERT: they stalk the couple from inside and outside the house, until they finally get them tied up in chairs where they take turns stabbing them in the torso. and they all lived happily ever after…
ah…what a heartwarming story…
what’s really the most creepy is that it’s a very “normal” set of circumstances. in other words, the bad guys don’t have super-powers and it’s not so far-fetched to where you couldn’t imagine the scenario. the movie begins by telling you that it’s based on actual events. whether that’s true or not, it’s certainly believable. the other creepy and chilling thing is that, whereas most horror movies end with the good guys somehow escaping from the bad guys and emerging victorious, in the end of this movie, the bad guys just kill the good guys in cold blood and drive away like nothing happened. there is no redemption, no victory, no justice, no happy ending.
you know, i’ve said this many times throughout the years (and to connect back to my last post), but the most scary thing isn’t the big bad scary city. it’s the rednecks. and the woods. they are scary. gangsters just shoot. rednecks stalk you, stab you and ride you like a pig. that’s scary. they come out of the woods in masks and with axes. thugs drive by and shoot a few bullets through your window. rednecks know how to kill you with their hands and with crude crafted torture devices. at best, a gangster’s going to cut you with a shank he made out of an old toothbrush.
seriously. rednecks + woods + a few too many milwaukee lites = scary.
so, now that i’ve offered you this heartwarming and endearing review, run, don’t walk, to your local movie store now and pick up a copy of the strangers.

3 Comments

  1. Cara Beth says:

    That’s funny that you wrote this because Buie JUST watched this movie like on Tuesday night I think. He waited until I went to sleep though. He too wanted to see it in the theater…maybe ya’ll should have gone together. Me and Christen can hang out and watch something with puppy dogs and rainbows. 🙂

  2. katandkarl says:

    your post has disturbed me.

  3. RAAB says:

    listen, man, there is nothing wrong with the woods, or all of these alleged rednecks running around in them. just hate a group of strangers over what, a misplaced love for nature and purty mouths? not to mention a profound love of very specific music. ah, what do you care anyway… stay away interloper!

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