my two moms
primarily, i have two moms in my life: my actual mom and my wife—the mother of my children. so, i thought on this mother’s day, i would pause and say how much i love both of these mothers (although not in this way…) and share a couple thoughts about each of them.
i thought in keeping with the theme of two, i would list two characteristics about each of them that i most love/respect/appreciate.
[cue the soft, background violin music…]
[wait, scratch that. cue ‘butterfly kisses’ but just insert ‘woman’ & ‘mom’ for each male reference…]
my mom, diana:
1. open communication. i feel like i can pretty much say anything to my mom. i don’t feel like i have to hold back or really sugarcoat things with her. of course, as with most people, there’s obviously things that i don’t regularly talk about with my mom, but if i think about it, i probably would and could talk about anything if i wanted to/needed to. one of the great things also is that i can be fairly blunt with her and we have the kind of relationship that allows for that. here’s an example (as goofy and small as it may be). let’s say my mom wants to buy something for the girls and i think it’s either too much or tacky or just something we don’t want. while not resorting to be rude or a jerk, i can openly tell my mom what i think and we can laugh it off or not take it personally or whatever. it’s a great quality that i think every parent should exhibit.
2. self-sacrificing. having my own children has made some things much more clear in my life as i think about my parents. one of the the things that i realize more and more about my mom is how much she sacrificed herself for the sake of me and my siblings. quite frankly, she probably did it/does it so much that it may not even be healthy, but nevertheless, she tirelessly and sacrificially arranged her life in a way that made our lives better. it’s hard to pinpoint my mom’s hobbies because for so many years, she’s poured all her time and energy and love into her family. looking back over my childhood, i can see that we didn’t always have money and every single thing we enviously wanted, but we had a pretty easy life because my mom (and dad, also, of course) broke herself to do the things for us that a family needs and wants.
my wife, christen:
you know, it’s funny because i could say and almost did say the exact same two things about christen that i did about my mom. she truly exhibits both those qualities, but for the sake of something different, i’ll list two other things.
1. authenticity. christen is christen. she doesn’t try to put on or be someone else or live some kind of double life. christen is herself. and that’s exactly how i want her. i don’t know anyone just like christen and i can’t imagine not having every single thing that christen is. our running joke is that christen is the funniest person i know and quite frankly, that’s pretty true. she really is hilarious and just has a great spirit that doesn’t take herself too seriously. she is just herself and doesn’t try to be so self-critical that she has to put on and try to be someone she isn’t.
2. partner. as most of you know if you’ve read much of any of my blog, i’m starting a church. with that comes a lot of work, stress, time, hard decisions and a lot of other things. simply put, i absolutely could not do these things alone. further, i wouldn’t want to do it with anyone other than christen. fortunately for me, she feels the same way. 🙂 seriously though, beyond being a wife, a friend and the mother of my children, christen is my partner. she’s the person that keeps me organized and motivated and encouraged. in the times i get overwhelmed, she steps in and takes on other jobs. when i feel discouraged, christen lets me know how good of a job i’m doing. she is truly my partner and she does it fairly thanklessly. she doesn’t demand credit and she doesn’t demand that she receives benefits from her work. this trait is invaluable and i really don’t stop often enough to thank her.
so, those are the two primary women in my life (besides my little girls). they share many common traits, but are each uniquely their own person. the biggest connecting point, of course, is how much i love each one of them and how high of a place of honor they hold in my life.
happy mother’s day to them and all other mothers (and mother lovers…) reading this! 🙂
p.s. i need to share this awesomely classy moment from today. for lunch, christen wanted to go to señor tequila’s (hence, my raging bowels now…) and just before we left, the waiter brought over a mother’s day gift. what was this gift?? why, a shot glass, of course!! stay classy, moms…